My Mom InLove has passed away...

It’s so hard to explain the kind of relationship I had with Mom. She was definetly not your typical “Mother Inlaw”. She hated that term, and by the way she treated myself and Amber, she was anything but that. I remember her telling me it should be “Mother Inlove” if anything. I have a huge hole in my heart today because she was my Mom. I absolutely adored everything about her. For one, she had impeccable style - a true fashionista. She had great taste in shoes and handbags, and when it came to her makeup and skin care - she was downright genius. But beyond those things she had a heart of gold. She served in the special needs ministry for years and it was such a deep heart felt passion of hers to be there for those children. She made a living by creating lasting memories for newly weds with her photography business, yet it was so much her passion, that it was more like her hobby. She loved her family more than anything; and she absolutely adored Dad. In fact I know that the husband I have today, is a direct reflection of the kind of loving marriage she had with her husband.

She was such a giving person. Her love language was gifts and she was real good at it... always sending us care packages with new clothes for the kids, candy for her son, and Victoria’s Secret gift cards for... her son ; ) Today as I helped to make preparations for her Memorial Service, my sister told me that Mom left a birthday gift for me. Of course it’s so typical of her to be so overly prepared - my birthday is 8 months away. The gift she left for me... a Michael Kors handbag... because I’m just as much a brand name snob as she was! It’s a bittersweet gift, not so much because of the monetary value of it, but completely because it’s just totally Mom. The gift sums her up. Overly prepared, always thinking of her kids, always being generous.

There aren’t words to describe the kind of love us kids have for our Mom... whether we were given birth by her or blessed enough to have been placed in her life by one of her big-hearted sons, she is our Mother Inlove and will always be.

I will miss her!

Gratitude is Great Attitude!

I’m sure you’ve heard it said:

“Attitude determines your altitude”

“What you think about you bring about”

Do you believe these statements to be true? If so... how high are you flying right now in life? Are you soaring high above the clouds... maybe hovering over Cloud 9? Or perhaps your plane is still grounded and trying to muster up the fuel for take off.

I happen to agree with the statements above - attitude certainly has everything to do with success. Yet even if it didn’t bring you “success” in the way you envisioned it; wouldn’t you say that living your life with a positive attitude is a success either way?

As I was contemplating the impact Attitude has on success I came up with four disruptors to our positive attitudes:

1.) Impatience.

We always want the journey to be faster. We’re a microwave generation when sometimes life calls for a crock-pot moment. I love to go fast. I will quickly admit that I’m a want-it-now get-it-now kind of a woman; and often times to my folly. I’m so much into a rush to get to the finish line, that I miss out on all the moments that led up to the grand finale of my dream. It’s never about the destination but always about the journey. When the season of your life, business, job, family calls for a crock-pot; MARINATE in it! You’ll be more seasoned & flavorful; and the outcome is gourmet instead of TV-frozen-dinner good.

2.) Peaks & Valleys.

Every mountaintop experience is followed by a valley. But every valley is followed by a mountaintop! It’s the heartbeat of your life. If you’ve ever watched a TV show taking place in a hospital, you’ve probably seen the heart monitor. It has jagged lines going upwards and downwards, over and over again... but when the line is flat with no peaks and no valleys - it means death. A stopped heartbeat. If you are experiencing peaks & valleys, get excited! It means your ALIVE!!! Without them you flat line & your dead! Are you going through some “stuff”? Praise God! Your alive!

3.) Lessons Ignored.

We get so caught up in why things aren’t going the way we want them to that we stop searching for the lesson. Every season has it’s purpose. Your struggle, your setback; serves a purpose. Learn from it or you’ll be wandering the desert for 40 years.

How can we break “free” of these disruptors? By acknowledging them & changing our reaction when they happen. All of the above can be a POSITIVE thing - if your looking for the positive. God never promised us life on a bed of roses; but He did promise us that He will work ALL things for good to those who love Him & follow Him. What I understand that to mean is He will not allow any moment to be wasted. It might not be what we expected or what we "begged" for, but it will always be the greater good of what He has prepared for our lives.

“Gratitude is Great Attitude”.

That’s become my daily mantra. To be constantly in a state of gratitude for all the blessings in my life; it is impossible to be grumpy & thankful at the same time! If your stuck in a “woe is me” mindset; if your in bondage to “stinkin’ thinkin’”,

chances are you left your gratitude somewhere.

It doesn’t matter where you are at in life right this moment or the struggles that your facing today; we have SO much to be thankful for! A roof over our heads, hot food on our table, a family to love & be loved by and a passion in our hearts for a dream. I’m thankful for a God who loves me & will always provide for me. If He is for me, who or what shall prevail against me?

Are you getting it?

If you can appreciate the simplicities in life and be thankful for the abundant amount of blessings you already have in your life... the rest of the stuff is just icing! It’s a fun journey we get to enjoy and be shaped by. And it’s a journey unique to each one of us! Life is full of so many experiences that we get to live just once - cherish them. Don’t rush time by resisting the journey.

My challenge to all of us is to begin each day with a fresh statement:

“I’m grateful for...”

How can you not have a good day with that great start to your day?!

Play Life to Win

I came across this video today and was immediately struck with inspiration to write a new blog. This is a story about an autistic boy who spent years as the assistant coach - years of handing out towels and passing out water - years of watching his team members score the victory and be the hero of the game. Despite being unable to stand on the court and play a game; he enthusiastically performed a job well done as assistant coach. He didn’t grumble or complain but took pride in the job he was given. After a couple years of standing on the sidelines - his coach finally gave him a chance to play in the game. This wasn’t any game... it was the LAST game of the entire season. He went out onto court, took the ball, and made a shot. He missed. He took a second shot, he missed again. He took a third shot, and scored a Three-Pointer. The crowd went wild. The remainder of the game he went on to score another Three-Pointer SIX MORE TIMES for a total of 20 points for his team!!! He said that at that moment he just “caught fire”.

As I watched the crowd go wild for him, standing up and cheering loud & proud; tears welled up in my eyes. How many times do we play the game of life with that same enthusiasm this boy Jason had? How many times do we make excuses for our handicaps and grumble over the lot in life we’ve been given? How many times do we complete a task half heartedly while expecting abundance in return?

I put myself in Jason’s shoes as he walked out on court to take that first shot in a live game - the last game of the season - and I cringed at the thought of missing that shot and letting my team down. What would you have done at that moment? I can only imagine my embarrassment... giving into defeat and throwing my hands up in the air. The thoughts that would be playing in my mind would say, “this is why I should’ve kept to my day job and not tried to step into my dream... I’m not meant for this.” Certainly I wouldn’t have had the guts to take a 2nd shot in fear of setting my team even further behind. But Jason took that 2nd shot. When he missed it... he continued on. He didn’t step back, he didn’t fall to his knees in tears of defeat, he caught fire. He took that 3rd shot and tasted victory.

This true story of an autistic boy provides us 5 Tips to Success that we can all learn from:

1.) Whatever your task, do it ENTHUSIASTICALLY.

Don’t grumble and don’t be a quitter. God has a purpose for your life and His timing is always perfect. He is the Master at using ALL things to His glory - He will use even this season in your life for good.

2.) When it’s your time to suit up, play it like a pro.

Don’t doubt whether the timing is right or whether your cut out to be a team player. If your standing on the court and the ball is in your hands, it’s time to play the game.

3.) When you miss the shot, catch fire.

Don’t talk yourself out of the spotlight, don’t doubt your abilities, don’t give up. Keep taking shots because it just might be the third one that makes you somebody's hero. Your victory will come if you just keep going.

4.) When the roles are reversed and YOU are the coach, breathe belief into “Jasons” life.

Look beyond his handicap and believe in the impossible. No matter how many failed shots he might take, don’t take him out of the game. You can have a direct impact on his or her self esteem. You can change her life. You can be the person who breaths life to her dream.

5.) Each shot you make, the crowd goes a little bit crazier.

Your life becomes an inspirational clip on youtube. Your victory goes beyond scoring points for the team, but trickles belief into the lives of the crowd around you. You become someone’s hero as they are inspired to suit up for their own game and pass it on to the next crowd. You become the poster child for “With God, All Things Are Possible”.

Let the moral of the story be: “Play life to win. Catch fire. Be enthusiastic.”

If my life was a sheet of music

Tonight was a great night. I had a mix of emotions racing through my heart and so I did what I always do when that happens. I went straight to my piano; that faithful piano that is always there for me when I need to express wordless thoughts & feelings. The piano has become my personal "Translator" that takes my ideas and emotions and composes them into a song. Tonight I sat there and pressed my fingers into the ivory keys. The more I played, the more awkward it sounded & the more frustrated I became. I felt like a foreigner who couldn’t speak english. The thoughts I was thinking in one language was being spoken in another when I went to play the notes. It’s a frustrating feeling to know what you want but not be able to articulate it. In an attempt to unchain the bottled up emotions I had; I reverted to playing the melody that my fingers had already memorized. I played Fur Elise. I do love that song... but when it seems to be the only song I know how to play, it can become quite frustrating. My fingers want to venture to new keys and play new chords and new combinations of notes. My heart wants to sing a song that my fingers can’t seem to articulate; because it’s untrained. And so it is on nights like these... I sit at the same piano, my fingers dance on the same keys, and in repetitious fashion I play the same Fur Elise.

There’s an interesting parallel to this story and to our day to day lives. It dawned on me that just like my feeble attempts to play a song I’ve never learned; I do the same thing with my big lofty dreams. I get caught up in a dream for my future; my adrenaline kicks in - a flood of emotions takes me over - and I start awkwardly pouncing on the keys of my life to make it happen. Often times our dream requires an action in unchartered waters and so the attempts we make at reaching that dream, turn into a horrible awkward note. We get frustrated that our life isn’t playing out the way we envisioned it in our minds. And so we go back to the same familiar song we’ve played many times over, that has now become a repetitious robotic attempt at living.

As long as I keep reverting back to the familiar Fur Elise that is comfortable & memorized... I will never be able to play Rachmaninoff. My musical abilities will always be stunted if I never accept the fact that I must teach myself new skills. I must learn how to read the sheet of music that lays before me. I must play THOSE same notes over and over again until it becomes a new memory for my fingers. I must keep playing those same difficult chords over and over again until my song of awkward notes turns into a beautiful music. Before I can indulge in experiencing the single spotlight on me and my piano... before I can play my dream of a melody for the audience to applaude... I must become a student first. I must learn from the ones who have already mastered the skills. I must experience the journey before I can arrive at the destination.

Are you stuck playing the same old song because your afraid to venture to a new sheet of music? Are you frustrated with yourself because deep down inside you have a dream that you want to see played out - but your unwilling to learn the notes?

Your life can be a beautiful song with many triumphant crescendos... but you have got to be willing to take the time to sit & learn the notes. Your dreams are knocking loud on the doors of your heart; don’t allow your fears to keep them locked away. Don’t be unwilling to play the part of a student. To become a master at anything, you’ve got to become a student of everything. Today is the day to compose your music score. What will the orchestra of your life play? Mine will be the song of Triumph & Victory!

Ephesians 5:19 "Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

I came across a photo today of a tan-african-braided version of myself. That picture brought back such sweet memories to me. I was 16 years old and on a mission to reach the people of the Maun Desert in Botswana, Africa. I could’ve never imagined myself spending my summer days in the sand covered far far away land.

Three months before I took that journey I was sitting in an auditorium for a youth conference. I sat in my chair - way in the back - arms crossed - with my atheist boyfriend sitting beside me. I did NOT want to be there. I had a hardened heart at that time. I didn’t understand the point in keeping my purity, I didn’t understand why I shouldn’t have a serious relationship with a boy who was against my beliefs, I didn’t understand that the same God who spoke to the hearts of the people in Old Testament Times - was the same God who speaks to the hearts of people in TODAYS TIMES.

I was deeply depressed, highly rebellious, and hypocritical beyond measure. I flirted with fire. Like a rebellious child, I would stick the tip of my toe in the sin that my parents told me not too.

Though I sat in that auditorium with arms closed and a heart hardened; it was that night that radically changed my life. The pastor called out from stage those teens who knew they were in situations they shouldn’t be in, they knew they were living lives apart from God; but they knew without a shadow of a doubt that they wanted to be forgiven and step into the abundant-filled life that God wants everyone to live in. He urged those of us to take a stand and make a new commitment to turn away from those things & turn towards a loving forgiving God.

My heart was pounding and my mind was racing - I stood without even thinking about the fact that my atheist boyfriend was right beside me. I cried out to God to change my heart & give me the strength to live a life full of purpose that He planned ahead of time for me. In that very moment He spoke to my heart that He wanted me to go to Botswana with the youth missions group that summer.

It was so unlike me but I was nearly giddy with excitement. I rushed downstairs to turn in my application and gather information I would need. Before I turned away from the lady processing my application; I stepped close to her and whispered, “where is Botswana?” In that very moment I knew God was calling me to Botswana... even though I had never heard the name before & had no clue what continent it was located. (It happens to be in Africa by the way)!

I’m not sure the point in sharing this story with you today... perhaps it’s to stir up your heart to seek a relationship with God, perhaps it’s to move you into living the abundant life Jesus provided for you, perhaps it’s just to tell you - that even today in the 21st century - God still has a heart for His people. He is not a Being whose stuck in the historical written pages of the Bible; He is God who was and is and is to come. He is the same today as He was yesterday. His plan has never changed. His desire to have a relationship with you has been there since the foundation of the world. He formed you in your mothers womb, He knows the number of hairs on your head, and He has a purpose for your life. His thoughts towards you are as countless as the stars in the sky. He wants to speak to you & direct your paths, if you will just listen.

I promise your life will be forever changed. I know mine was!

The D Word

Discipline... offensive, isn’t it? It’s not the most warm and fuzzy word, nor does it evoke the most warm and fuzzy feelings. In fact if you ever hear a person tell you how much they “love to be disciplined”, you probably want to know what their smokin’!

In the short years I’ve lived my life, one thing I’ve learned is: Life without discipline is chaos. It’s like spinning your wheels with no ground to tread on. Without discipline goals cannot be achieved & dreams cannot be made true. If you want to lose weight; it takes discipline in your eating habits. If you want to grow a business; it takes discipline in your work ethic. If you want to be financially fit; it takes discipline in your spending habits.

Most often discipline means doing the very thing we are most opposed to doing. Have you ever noticed how often times it’s the things you hate doing, that bring about the results you love getting? I was thinking about that today as I motivated myself to do the one activity that I tend to put off the most. I agonize and procrastinate on that very activity... even though I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, it will produce much fruit!! Know what this is called? Self Sabotage! Don't do it! 

Discipline brings about all kinds of rewards - both physically & emotionally. You’ll be looking better, thinking better and feeling better. The discipline to save your money & spend it wisely will make you a rich woman; and you can take a huge bite out of anxiety in your life. The discipline to eat healthy and excersize regulary will make you a super fit woman; and self consciousness will turn to self confidence. Can you even imagine what discipline could do for you?

These last three months I feel like I’ve been on a discipline course. My hunger for discipline is like a roaring lion. I want to be so on top of it all... in my finances, my health, my business and my relationship with God. I CHOOSE to be disciplined. 

Life is one long self improvement course; and I want to score an A+ by the time it’s over. I want to use my talents wisely, invest in the things of value, and be a woman who places an importance on the eternal. I want to make a difference in this world.

I invite you to take this journey with me. Become a student of discipline and allow it to be your teacher. And if you have too... turn the imagry of the word “DISCIPLINE” from a stern drill sergeant, to a pretty-in-pink-totally-healthy-wealthy-smart YOU. Can you even imagine?!

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

 Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace 

for those who have been trained by it.” - Hebrews 12:11

Declare your origionality

Choices. I’m so thankful we have them. When we’re faced with statistics, facts and opinions of others; it’s so liberating to know that we still do have a choice in the matter.

It’s sad when people base their decisions on the success rate of others. Why give so much power to a percentage rate on a piece of paper? Have you ever noticed that when you verbalize a dream of yours, there’s always someone whose willing to “protect” you by pointing out the opposing facts of that dream?

I remember a warm summer evening when I was walking around this big beautiful pond in the dark. The moon was shining, stars were twinkling, frogs were chirping... yet my heart was fearfully pounding! I was on the phone with my father telling him that I had just gotten engaged. I was ecstatic about my news; but I knew what kind of a reaction to expect. He fulfilled my expectations to the T. “You are too young to get married... statistics show that the divorce rate of marriages at your age are extremely high.” I chose to stand firm and spoke with conviction: “Dad, I’m not a statistic.” 

That conversation was six sweet years ago.

God made you to be an “original”. Are you living like an original; or are you living like a copy? Is your life full of faded attempts to live the dream you’ve had in your heart since you were a child? Did you allow a statistic to run your life?

Ultimately we all have one of two choices; the first leads to a passionate fulfilling life, and the other leads to a life-full of deprivation and regrets.

Choose today to be bold. Choose to stand out from the mainstream. Choose to avoid the pitfalls of a statistic. Choose to be unique. Choose to dream. Choose to LIVE a life of no regrets.

Declare your originality!